“And I saw a beast rising out of the sea with 10 horns and seven heads with 10 diadems upon its horns and a blasphemous name upon its heads — all while it was wearing socks with sandals. Socks with sandals! It totally freaked me out!”
— Revelations 14.13:1.1
Truly the End Times are upon us.
It is as your father prophesized when he said, “So the last will be first, and the first last, and then everyone will be wearing socks with their sandals just like me!”
Yes, the Daily Telegraph in London reports that socks with sandals are a bona fide fashion trend these days. Pack your bags. The Apocalypse is scheduled for 2:20 p.m. (EST) next Tuesday.
According to the paper, executives for the British retail giant Debenhams have announced a 68 percent increase in sales of socks and sandals. The celebrity world offers further evidence with Bruce Willis being seen with his sandals over his socks.
Then again, Bruno is 59. Going around in socks and sandals is not exactly what you would call unusual or “cutting edge” among 59-year-old men. However, the Telegraph adds that such young fashion plates as Rita Ora, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and Elle Fannin have also been sporting the style.
Want further evidence that this is not some kind of elaborate ruse designed to make a complete fool of you around the office.
Socks and sandals have also been seen on the menswear catwalks of Prada, Louis Vuitton and the Paris label Carven as well as the Shady Rest Assisted-Living Retirement Center in Davenport, Iowa.
Now nothing in Davenport is as peppy as the nude-colored socks and metallic blue sandals offered by Guillaume Henry, creative director of Carven
The Telegraph reports that socks with sandals are usually associated with librarians, vegans and members of the Garrison Keillor Fan Club. So what are hipsters thinking?
The paper suggests it’s the final frontier of hipster fashion to break every fashion rule in the book by making everything ironically cool.
In other words, it’s the Soc-pocalypse.